42 days and counting...oh dear lord

I have earned myself a new name. I am the diesel. I am not fast. I am not slick. I am not competitive or even athletic. I am, however, determined, steadfast and diligent. When the going gets tough and the tough get goin'...I put my head down and push through, slowly, and without reservation. I am the diesel.

Today we rode our longest ride yet,80 miles and it was terrific. We rode the country roads nearly to Corvallis, Oregon (my second home, sigh), and they were FLAT. This was the first flat long ride we have taken in our training so far and it was fabulous. It was good to ride hard and long with my head in the game. I learned how to be steady psychologically (b/c as many of you know I am often unsteady psychologically) and resist the effects of monotony. It was great.

I am keenly aware that this training process is simultaneously reaching the apex and the end. The race is in 42 days and I can acutely remember the sting of starting this journey and counting the months left of training. I am excited and I am nervous. I am joyous and I am scared. I relish the thoughts of accomplishing this goal. I revel in the fantasy of staying up late and sleeping past 6 a.m. But I have also become so accustomed to regularity and dependability of this pace. My love for predictability and routine has been so thoroughly rienforced by this process....I can hardly remember what it was like before training. Did I have friends? Did I eat out? Did I see movies? I feel like Jennifer-Who...a femmy queer girl who has lost all memory of her life prior to Ironman (a syndrome commonly known as Iron-mysia). I will have to meet and learn to know myself all over again.

Thankfully I have 42 days. 42 days of training, scheduled and focused eating, planned sleeping, hydration, discussion, event planning, travel planning, bike planning....I have 42 days of planning ahead. And thank god....b/c apparently I am just not ready to let go. Who knew, at the start of all of this, that I would come to be thankful for the workouts, the sweat, the many, many showers a day (I'm a femme and it takes showers and product to make me me) and the routine of 20 hours of weekly training. I can't wait until tomorrow....thank god, it's a rest day.

For those of you following these posts (god bless you...especially after my last post), thank you for your support. Without you I would be a lonely blogger. Without you I would have no one to whine to...no one to celebrate with. You have all inspired me in some way or another and in long rides and runs like those I've had this weekend, I think of you. I think of the funny things you have said, the not so funny things I have said, the crazy things we have done (Jen....the night of G and T's and YouTubing inappropriate stuff) and the strength that each of you have shared with me. I look forward to sharing more (hopefully not nearly as much as I did in my post last week....I think I was dehydrated and lost all sense of SOCIAL GRACE!) and learning more from you all. THANK YOU. I promise to swim, ride and run in your honor (it's easier this way....you don't have to train...unless your name is Jen, Meg or Trina...in which case what are you doing still reading?? Shouldn't you be running or riding or swimming or eating or showering????).

Big Hugs!
PS: All this training makes me so 'i love you man'.
PPS: ONLY 42 DAYS!!! DID YOU READ THAT???OMG, I'M SO EXCITED!!!!